Hi, Dr. Meg,
I have a question.
How can I help my boyfriend become a better dad when his sons are living with his ex, and she does not support a relationship between him and his sons? Unfortunately, he allowed her to control when and if he saw his sons while they were separated (always hoping they could reconcile), so he never had any time with his sons alone. He did attend every school event and sports activities during those five years, and now that they are divorcing, he has had to get a court order for any type of visitation.
Now his sons do not want to be with him unless he takes them out somewhere where they do not have to interact with him. As a mom myself, I have never understood why people play games with their children or think they are pawns to use to get back at their ex! I grew up without my father because he chose to not be a part of our lives, and then with a step dad who was so wounded from his first marriage that our relationship did not evolve until I had my own children.
I understand what these boys are feeling; however, here is a case of a dad who is being slammed up against a brick wall at every step of the way to have a relationship with his sons.
Do you have any advice or suggested resources that might help us?