My son is super smart and I am exploring the idea of emotional intensity in him. He can be anxious, is empathetic to his core, and has some issues with anger, which is my main concern. He has started saying “hate”, “kill”, he wants out of our family, he wants to go to heaven when he is mad. He is getting items from his room to “fight” me and is doing damage to his room. I know setting events include hunger and lack of sleep and we have a pretty set schedule to avoid these things. I also have to be on top of hydration and bowel movements (he gets constipated) or these affect his eating. Frankly, it’s all very exhausting, as I have to be on top of everything all the time.
He is seven so we are working on moving all this responsibility over to him (slowly). I know I am a trigger to him; how I interact with him. We have spent a lot of time providing him replacements to get the anger out in an appropriate way. For example, he can squeeze his fist down at his side but he can’t threaten me with a fist up. He can pop bubble wrap, dance it out with his favorite music, write or draw and rip it up. Some of these work. My background is a Ph.D. in special education with a master’s experience in autism and work experience in ABA. Most of the time my son is easy and a joy, but these episodes are increasing and not decreasing and he is crossing many boundaries for our family. His five-year-old brother has now used some of these inappropriate terms. I worry about my 7 year-olds’ emotional health and handling it appropriately to preserve that. I would appreciate any resources you may have in mind. Thanks in advance.