Hi Dr. Meg,
I cannot thank you enough for the resources and guidance you provide! I have three sons and absorbed Boys Should Be Boys.
I do have a question that I need special guidance on regarding an unfortunate incident in our neighborhood where a six-year-old boy coerced (signs point to coercion) my seven-year-old boy to engage in sexual exploration. He also videotaped it with his iPad.
I need guidance and have questions on how to proceed or not proceed in order to minimize damage to both children involved. When asked why he did what the boy asked, my son said, “He said he wouldn’t be my friend anymore.” I am stunned, angry and concerned about my son who is a shy “pleaser” type.
The video was three minutes long and disturbing. My son feels ashamed and confused. The other boy was the very vocal “director.” I am surprised that at this age he felt so at ease with ordering my son around telling him what to do. So many red flags here. This is an upper-middle-class neighborhood, educated kids, educated loving parents.
The other mom is calling it typical boy curiosity and feels both boys were instigators. I don’t see it that way as it was her son’s iPad, her house and her son doing the directing, even correcting my son at times–no!
I am feeling like I need to help my son navigate this and quite possibly other instances. But he won’t talk. I also have a nine-year-old that I am concerned has been sucked in as well but he swears nothing has happened. His dad and I both have an excellent relationship with our boys, but they are not talking.
Do you have any idea on how I should proceed?
Thanks for your help,
Very Worried Mom