July is National Family Reunion Month, which means many of us will be traveling near and far to gather with loved ones, share meals, laugh together, reminisce and play games. This is what family reunions are meant to entail but for many of you, it’s another story. Family reunions mean disciplining your kids as they fight in the backseat during a five-hour road trip. Or, they mean listening to your uncles have that same political debate they’ve been having for decades.
July is National Family Reunion Month, which means many of us will be traveling near and far to gather with loved ones, share meals, laugh together, reminisce and play games. This is what family reunions are meant to entail but for many of you, it’s another story. Family reunions mean disciplining your kids as they fight in the backseat during a five-hour road trip. Or, they mean listening to your uncles have that same political debate they’ve been having for decades. While some of you may look forward to your family reunion each year, I know others dread it.
But don’t cancel your trip just yet. Spending time with family can be fun. It just might require a little planning and some expectation management. So this year, instead of despairing about the family reunion, prepare.
- Set expectations for behavior.
My friends Julie and John have 14 children. Yes, 14. Four are biological and ten have been adopted through foster care. Several years ago, they took the nine kids who still lived at home on a road trip. I asked her what she did when the kids fought in the car.
“Nothing,” she said very matter-of-factly. “We don’t allow our kids to fight.”
Really? It’s possible to make kids NOT fight? What she told me was pretty simple. She and John make their expectations of their kids’ behavior very, very clear. If their kids get out of line, they discipline them with consequences set out beforehand. Each child gets the same consequence each time. The expectation is crystal clear, the follow-through is consistent and because of this, their children behave. Even on road trips!
Set behavioral expectations and standards with your children well before you get in the car. Let them know what will and will not be tolerated and what the consequences will be. Implement the consequences each time the line is crossed. This way, you don’t show up to family reunion already stressed.