I don’t know about you, but Mother’s Day carries mixed emotions for me. Yes, I am a mother of four great adult children and now a grandmother. I have a lot to celebrate, so why the mix of joy and melancholy? I think I may have figured it out and wanted to share it with you on the off chance that you may feel some of these same feelings.
I don’t know about you, but Mother’s Day carries mixed emotions for me. Yes, I am a mother of four great adult children and now a grandmother. I have a lot to celebrate, so why the mix of joy and melancholy? I think I may have figured it out and wanted to share it with you on the off chance that you may feel some of these same feelings.
The expectations that come with Mother's Day can easily sabotage our ability to truly enjoy it.
First of all, Mother’s Day makes me reflect on my job as a mother. While I enjoyed raising my kids, I made mistakes and some still haunt me. During regular weeks, I don’t think about them but I do on this special day. Then, there are the expectations that come with the holiday that can easily sabotage my ability to truly enjoy and celebrate it. I hope that my adult children will write me long letters telling me how happy they are with me and what an amazing job I did raising them. When they were young, I hoped that my husband would prompt the kids to let me know how special I was to them. In reality, sometimes he even forgot it was Mother’s Day. So when flowers didn’t come or beautifully hand written notes or pictures made didn’t appear, I did what most mothers do: I felt like a failure.
Call it my fault for having expectations on Mother’s Day of expressions of appreciation for the work I have committed my heart and soul to for three decades come, but hey- isn’t that kind of reasonable for a holiday celebrating moms? So when those expectations aren’t met, I feel very disappointed.
Then there are the feelings of missing my own mother. I lost her five years ago and she was my best friend. I loved having Mother’s Day with her and if truth be told, I’m sure there were a lot of Mother’s Days that I disappointed her. I never meant to- I adored my mother- I was simply preoccupied with my own life. Now, what I wouldn’t give to have her back for just one more day.
For many women, Mother’s Day brings sadness because it reminds them of what they don't have.