Knowing Your Needs

The only difference between us grown ups and our children is that they are allowed to express their needs because they are still young. But just because we grow older doesn’t mean that our needs diminish. They simply morph into other, more complex needs.

Once, we needed food and comfort during times when we were scared, but now we need more comfort with an added dimension of patience and understanding. The food thing we can do for ourselves.

As children we needed to know that our father thought that we were amazing and our mother loved us more than anything in the world. Some of us got that; some of us didn’t. But the truth is, we still need to know that someone whom we love and admire thinks we are amazing.

If kids have a good mother, they sometimes ignore her. Some kids are even rude or mean to their mothers. The reason for this stems from their comfort–kids feel that mothers have to love them. They have to always be there because in their minds, that’s what moms do. So they take us for granted because many of us are the rocks in our homes.

This is the same approach many of us have with our healthy relationships. We take them for granted and even become rude to those we love because we have so much confidence in them.

How about it readers? Do you tell your loved ones that you love and admire them? Has someone recently done so for you?

The above is an excerpt from a piece originally published in Psychology Today.