Mothers are notoriously adept at self-deprecation. Where in the world does this come from? Are we born with thoughts about being fat, ugly, not good enough, stupid, lazy, etc? I don’t think so. God isn’t mean.
As we grow up, many of us see other girls and women and believe that they have better lives than we do. We want the approval of our second grade classmates, the attention of the popular guys in high school and we want our girlfriends to love being with us. But in most of these situations, we feel that we don’t quite get these. Almost, sometimes, but usually, we fall short. At least I know I did. In fact, as an adult, whenever I remembered myself in grade school, I pictured myself as chubby and in high school I remembered myself as downright fat. That was, until I looked at pictures of myself at those ages. I was shocked to see that I was neither chubby nor fat. So why did I remember myself that way?
Self-contempt. Many of us live with anger toward ourselves. This is the anger that comes if we shut a finger in the car door and yell out loud how stupid we are. This is self-contempt. But where does it come from? Well, it comes from many places. Some of us were told we were fat and stupid repeatedly by nasty people. Some of us felt awkward, unpopular, ugly or too pimply. Some had friends who told us these things, and others were bullied. But for many, the thoughts came even though we can’t recollect a specific moment when we were told these things. It doesn’t matter. The root of each of them is shame. And it comes from many places.