Like many of your kids, my four kids grew up in a quiet neighborhood, attended nice schools and weren’t allowed to do harmful things in high school like drink, do drugs, or be sexually active. At least, my husband and I tried out hardest to keep our teens away from these things and for the most part, we were pretty successful.
Like many of your kids, my four kids grew up in a quiet neighborhood, attended nice schools and weren’t allowed to do harmful things in high school like drink, do drugs, or be sexually active. At least, my husband and I tried out hardest to keep our teens away from these things and for the most part, we were pretty successful.
Our small town doesn’t have a lot of crime, and diversity comes via economic, not racial means. Our kids went to school with some extremely wealthy kids along with kids who came early to get free breakfast. They went to church with us every Sunday and attended youth group on Wednesday night. Sounds kind of boring I suppose.
Many parents have remarked, “that’s good for you but I don’t want my kids to grow up in a bubble. I want them to know what the real world is all about.” I hear this a lot and the statement is not only illogical, it is poorly thought out. Here’s why.
First, every child grows up in a bubble. The real question for parents is: what kind of bubble do you want your child to grow up in? Kids create – intentionally or via their parents’ influence – a social ecosystem. They need this in order to thrive. They find a few friends with whom they feel comfortable being themselves and study and live beside them. They seek those who are going in the direction they’d like to go and they stick with them. Or, they gravitate toward unhealthy relationships because these are all they have known. If a child is used to being yelled at, she will find kids who will be mean because that is her zone of familiarity. We do this too. I have friends who have been married for a long time because I need encouragement to do the same. If I stick with these friends, I increase my chances of having a healthier marriage. The same is true with kids.
Every child grows up in a bubble. The real question for parents is: what kind of bubble do you want your child to grow up in?