The words we speak around our children are powerful and impact them more than we know. Even if we’re talking about our children when they’re not in the room, what we believe about them shows up in what we say about them, and will shape them more than we could ever imagine. I know this from experience.
The words we speak around our children are powerful and impact them more than we know. Even if we’re talking about our children when they’re not in the room, what we believe about them shows up in what we say about them, and will shape them more than we could ever imagine. I know this from experience.
What we believe about our children shows up in the words we speak to and about them.
In September 1979, my father spoke a single sentence that changed my life. I had graduated from Mt. Holyoke College earlier in the year and had been rejected from several medical schools, so I was living at home pondering Plan B. One evening, on my way upstairs, I overheard my father talking to a friend on the phone.
“Yes,” he was saying. “They really do grow up fast, don’t they? I’m excited to tell you that my daughter, Meg, will be starting medical school next fall. She’s not quite sure where, though.”
My head went hot. What was he saying? Medical school? I’d just received a handful of rejections. I’ll be going to medical school next fall? How can he say that? What does he know that I don’t?
My father believed something about me that I couldn’t yet believe myself. Not only did he believe it, but he, a doctor himself, put his reputation on the line in front of his friend.
As I backed away from the door, my heart rate doubled. I felt thrilled and excited because my father’s confidence gave me hope. And sure enough, in Fall 1980, I started medical school, just as my father had said.
I recently had a conversation with my friend Michael Jr. for my Parenting Great Kids podcast. Michael Jr. is an actor, comedian, and father of four. While we were talking, he recalled a time he overheard his father say something about him that he believes helped direct his life’s path.
Michael Jr. grew up in a home that was not unfamiliar to drug use. He recalls coming home one day when he was young and seeing his father’s friend sitting on their front porch, smoking marijuana. Later, Michael overheard the friend apologize to his father for smoking in front of his son.
To that, Michael’s dad replied, “My son isn’t like you. He would never do drugs. He’s way too smart for that.”